they shake the mountains when they dance

all my shit is on a moving truck. which means im bikeless. boooo.
which demands that i resort to skating.
2 weeks left in california.
i really dont feel anything except love. hahaha
or is that just what alcohol feels like?

i'm a snotface.

i don't know what it is about the cosby show that makes me so emotional.
i think im gonna write him a letter.

i cant move my elbow.

wake up.
swimsuit on.
jump on bike.
jump in pacific ocean.
swim to bowies.
ride home.
make pb&j.
plug in guitar.
drumsticks please.
draw.
draw.
photograph.
copy copy copy.
paste.

day 2 of jumping into the ocean. 28 days left.
my birthday is real soon.
moving is going to suck.
executrix is going to play a show soon.
i've started making flyers for watercolor paintings.
she played a show with t.p. uh huh last month.
i think i forgot how to play a show.

my hair is ocean crust
and i have a layer of fish pee on my skin.

uhhh im in washington. bro is getting married tomorrow.
i've taken seven naps all over airplanes.
sleepies.
goodbye texas, see you in a few months. or somethingggg uhhhh
i dont know. meeting strangers that are apart of your family now
is kind of weird. theres no bar at the wedding. i want to be drunk.
im way excited to see california.
i need to start practicing for the wrecking crew tryouts.
i think i want to live in denton.
i think i've got a billion ideas
but first things first. find a job!
anyone know a photographer who needs some assisting?

family dynamics
man being in texas really sucks and is really awesome all at the same time.
i've got a bunch of bruises and a fucked up scab knee because ive got an asshole for a little brother.i also got locked out of my house and my room got demolished. along with that i found out some disturbing shit about my dad. so i think it's safe to say that i am cutting two people out of my life. harsh? maybe. i'm not even sure if i wanna move back here because everytime i visit i leave feeling completly drained and defeated. my older brother asked me to come live with him in georgia. so i'm giving that a thought. i dont know. im pissed.

randomly decided to go camping at 9 last night.
a bunch of us crammed into a two person tent.
best and worst sleep ive ever had.
locked my keys in my car.
spent an hour making a contraption to unlock it.
hike around and aired up tons of rafts and floated around for hours in the river.
i've been drunk since ten am.
my head hurts from attempting to do backflips off rocks.
today was such a good day, it's gonna be hard to top.
i've got the blisters, bruises and red skin to prove it.

no one loves parades more than santa barbara.
sometimes i live in a time warp.
convinced this place is a mad house with good beaches and warm weather.
i really am going to miss the bike friendliness of it all though.

summer has started off with a bang. the ocean has never been better.
i got buried in the sand, frisbee, dancing, porch guitars, school is ouuut,
free fruit, crazy people, sun burns, and just to think three more weeks of this.

saying goodbye to someone that really affected you and knowing you'll never
see them again is harsh.

pst.

i got that internship. start tomorrow.
stomach is imploding due to hunger.
skid acid bike documentary will be finished soon.
last week of school then threeeee whole weeks off.
then just two months left of college, ever!
ghosts and boys need to get outta my life.
happy fathers day to all yours.
apparantly my dad had a really bad day, karmas a bitch.
for real website will be up on tuesday.
i forgot how good the addams family is.
how could i?
i want to choreograph a bike ballet.
anyone in?
and by anyone, i mean you rick because this journal is for you.

i shaved a friend's head in the backyard today.
a boy that i've got certain history with came back after eight months.
to say the least his return has been a mixture of extreme ups and downs.
my website should be up and running by the end of the week.
last night was the best sleep had in a while.
being interviewed for a bike film documentary tomorrow.
meeting with a photographer for an internship as well.

things looking all around.

i'm done with my zine.
keep your eye on the prize #1
i'll send you a copy.

ghosts are still around. even more so.
i don't go to sleep until the sun comes up.
that's the only way it feels okay.

i'm full of mixed emotions.
sad that i'm leaving california soon
but more than ready for a change.
i've had some good times here and
have met some really great people.
but new adventures await.
i've got to make the most of these next two months.

i've got a break coming up soon.
camping in big sur, kayaking in morro bay, hanging outside of houston, seeing buddies in dfw, watch my brother get married in idaho.

learning flash is sorta frusterating. i'm a pretty bad notetaker and none of mine make sense. hopefully in three weeks i'll have a website up and running. i really need to do laundry. my wolf head mexico blanket is really gross. i'm almost done with my zine. keep your eye on the prize #1. it's my first zine in three years. i feel like i've been sorta holding back the last three years, i've been busy figuring out other parts. i'm really looking forward to building a garden when i return to texas. i watched the beginning of miss universe tonight, they all came out in their countries native costumes. the united states was a girl dressed as elvis. what? who decided that? she looked the most ridiculous, and there were some pretty insane outfits. elvis? i'm just kind of embarassed.

okay bye.

it was supposed to be the party of the decade. disco. studio fifty four. we all put a lot of work into building a dance floor and making it look super seventies. of course as soon as the party gets going, i pass out in the back room. that's usually how it goes. i get too excited and still don't know how to pace myself. my head hurts and the girl behind me playing loud techno music doesn't help.

in fourth grade, i planned a surprise party for my teacher. i guess i got so worked up about it i made myself sick and ended up getting strep throat the day of the party and couldn't go to school.

in the middle of the night i was woken up because of the rapid shaking of my bed. i don't really know what to say. straight up, my bed was moving for no reason. i have narrowed it down to two possible ideas of why this happened. a. it was a small earthquake (which is strange to believe because nothing else was shaking but my bed) and b. some sort of ghost felt like fucking with me. long story short i laid awake for three hours because i felt weird about the whole situation.

the nights have been ridiculous lately, but the days have been pretty good.

heater creature
there is a heater connected to the wall right beside my bed. since five this morning, some kind of creature has managed to crawl up inside of it and make a lot of noise. i've just been sitting here devising of ways to scare it, but nothing is working. if the heater actually worked, i would just turn it on. so i ended up just putting a bunch of shit over the heater to make sure no creepster pops its head out somehow. i've also convinced myself it's just a bird because that's the least creepiest animal it could be next to my head. i'm not really sure what's going on, is it hurt? why is it in there? i just want to go to sleep.

p.s. i just went outside to figure this out and i just sat outside and watched a little bird gather materials and then slip into the wall and make a nest. right by my head.
should i find a way to block the heater or just let him annoy me all the time?

i'm going camping in 32 minutes.
i will have no service where i'm going soooo don't get worried.

okay bye.

dear rick,
i woke up feeling really odd today. i think it's because of the whacky dream i had about going on a camping trip and trying to find breakfast stroodles. my sunburn is going through the whole "itchy phase" which is uncomfortable but at least it's getting better. my jaw will drop if i get a call from you soon saying neil young's "tonights the night" mysteriously showed up in your possession. i still fight with my english teacher. he still hates me. he looks like a mix between a weasel and a rat, but i bet if he changed his personality he would resemble nicer animals.

emily

so it was my first day of class for my third and final english course. my teacher is a 30 year old man from Austin who cusses a lot and is that annoying sort of teacher who tries to be "one of the kids". my roomate is in the class with me, and she asked me a question about something the teacher had said and i answered. he then said to my roomate and I, " do i need to split you two up? because it seems like you lesbians are flirting with each other and are about to make out." and then after seeing the look of shock on my face, he asked me if that was humiliating enough?

i'm starting to lose all hope and his words are keeping me awake.

keep austin weird.

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